The World's Worst Rapper
by Garuto
Summary: When Kirabi is chased out of another club for his horrible rapping, his demon has an idea. Why not get a teacher? I mean who can rap as great as the NINE TAILED FOX? NO Yaio in this story.
1. Chapter 1

**The World's Worst Rapper**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto because frankly I am to fucking poor.**

**At a night club in Kumo, something horrible is about to go down…**

"Alright everybody we have an entry to showcase his rhyming skills and his name is… OH GOD NO! IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!!" Screamed the announcer.

He then pulled out a pistol and screamed "See you in hell mother fuckers!!!" Then tried to shoot himself in the head but missed and shot his nuts instead.

"OH MY GOD!!! SOMEBODY PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY!!!" Screamed the unknown man as he held his bleeding nuts.

Unfortunately nobody gave a shit and waited for him to die his slow, painful, death before tossing him in a box and shipping him to the Raikage. That will teach him to raise the taxes again, the bastard.

**In the Raikage's office…**

"Sir you have a package from the Kumo Experience night club" Said the lonely secretary who wished she went to Harvard instead of working for a bastard who constantly spanks her ass whenever she bent over.

"Bring it in Ms. Monica Lewinsky" (Now how the hell did she get into the Naruto World?)

She brought the package in and cursed under her breath about men named Bill before slamming her door.

The Raikage open the package and sighed. "I guess my brother is about to rap again" He said as he tossed the box by the other 20 stacks of boxes filled with dead bodies.

**Back at the Kumo Experience…**

Everybody was waiting for a new announcer to… well announce. The waited until somebody from the crowd got on stage. "The Kumo Experience is proud to present Kirabi!"

Then out of nowhere, Kirabi burst through the wall and started to rap.

"I love to fight and this is quiet a night. I am out of sight, or maybe it's my might, this club is tight! I am the eight tails, harder than nails; the post office is where I get my Mails. You have all been a wonderful crowd, and you might want to pout!"

Everybody was silent until somebody screamed. "MY EYES! OH MY GOD! I HAVE TWO KIDS AND A WIFE! HOW I AM GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO THEM!!!"

Then all hell broke loose in the club as kunai, chairs, jutsu, and bodies were flying everywhere.

Kirabi slowly snuck through the back door and ran as some of the crowd chased after him throwing everything they can to hurt them. One man threw his wife at Kirabi while screaming "That's for sleeping with my sister and her husband!"

Kirabi manage to loose the crowd after running behind a back alley. He then began to curse his demon.

"Damn you stupid demon! Why didn't you tell me I was horrible at rapping?"

"**Oh don't start your bullshit again. I have told you for… How old are you?"**

"Sixteen"

"**Sixteen Mother humping years I told you to stop your shit rapping but no you want to do this and you think your good. Every time you get a gig, you blame me when they boo your sorry ass." **Said the eight tailed beast as he suddenly jumped on his hosts shoulder in a miniature form.

"So what should we do now?" Asked Kirabi as he walked out the back alley.

"**Well I know your stupid ass still wants to rap so I propose-**

"You want to propose? Dude I don't roll that way!" Said Kirabi as he pushed his demon of his shoulder.

"**Not that dumbass! I mean that we should find u a teacher to help you with your horrible rapping." Said Kirabi's demon as he jumped back on his hosts shoulder.**

"But I don't I don't need a-

"**LISTEN YOUR SORRY ASS NEEDS A TEACHER! YOU CANT RAP! BECAUSE OF YOUR SHIT RAPPING, I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP, WISHING THAT I WASENT IMMORTAL. DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRISING IT IS TO HAVE AN ALL POWERFUL DEAMON CRY?!" Yelled the eight tails. **

"So who is this teacher?"

"**He is the strongest of us tailed beast and is the best rapper that I ever saw."**

"You don't mean… The nine tailed fox?" said Kirabi with shock in his eyes.

"**Yes I do. Pack your bags Kirabi; we are going to Konoha for that bastard fox to teach you how to rap."**

"You say his name like you hate him."

"**Well I don't. Just because he grew one more tail and was a ladies man in high school and took my wife doesn't mean I HATE HIM! HE IS JUST A SELF CENTERED BASTARD. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MY WIFE! SHE HAD THE NERVE TO SAY I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TAILES AND THAT SHE NEEDED A MAN WITH AT LEAST NINE TAILES-**

"YO! Cool down you crazy ox I didn't ask all of that. We should get going." Said Kirabi as he sent the demon back into his mind.

"**Yeah-Yeah. Let's just go."**

With that said, Kirabi set of on the ultimate journey to Konoha to learn from the best rapper ever: The nine tailed fox.

_Well that was chapter one of the worst rapper. Constructive criticism is accepted. If you see anything wrong I will do my best to make it better as I want to grow as a writer. Later. Review please._

Kirabi: Yeah you must review or do you need a tissue to miss u?

Garuto (Me): You need that teacher fast.

Eight Tails: Damn Right!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**The World's Worst Rapper**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, Yeah, I know I own nothing pertaining to Naruto.**

It has been three weeks since the nightclub incident and Kirabi (A.K.A Killer bee) was on his was to the Kohana to find his rapping teacher, the nine tailed fox.

"Yo Greg, how good is the nine tails at rapping?" Asked Killer bee as he continued his pace to the Leaf village. **(A/N Greg is the name I thought for the eight tails. I couldn't think of a better name at the time, Sue me.)**

"**Well as much as I hate to admit it, that nine tailed bastard is a legend in the spirit world for his rapping. He schooled Shukaku so bad that he went on a murderous rampage and promised that if he was ever sealed he would make his host suffer like he suffered in the spirit world." **Said Greg as he held on to Killer bee's shoulder.

"Wow. That's epic; I wish I could make somebody feel like shit after I freestyle against them."

"**Unfortunately you do. Remember last weak when you where having a rap battle against that that kid who rapped like Will Smith on steroids?" Said Greg as he shuddered at the memory.**

"Oh yeah I remember. I didn't know that anybody's eyes could melt like that." Said Killer Bee as he picked his ear.

"**Yeah me either. Didn't you also see his ears blowed chunks on the ground?"**

"Yeah I saw that. I didn't know ears could vomit."

"**Well then you never heard yourself rap. You sound even worst than Souljaboy and he raps like how Hercule from Dragonball Z fights, like shit." Said Greg.**

"Oh come on. I know I am at least better than Souljaboy. Hell Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant can out rap him and those are some forgotten rappers." Said Killer Bee as he argued with his demon. **(A/N But seriously they where once rappers. They suck.)**

"**Tough Beans bitch. Once you learn form that loser fox, you will be on top of the game."**

"Gee I wonder how good of rapper he really is." Thought Killer Bee.

**Somewhere in Konoha…**

"_Yo. Check it. My Name is Naruto Uzumaki A.K.A. the king, the way I rap makes your girl want to sing, Go against me and your head will ring. Like the back of shirt smelling like shit, I don't even write down the raps I spit. Yo Saskue why are you so gay, I think you like sucking d*** all day, You want to kill Itachi for all that he has done, but you still cant beat the one, Ninja that that you know can rasengan your ass, I like Sakura but she got no ass, I may go off topic at times but I still will massacre you, I hope to have your girl tonight but u can come if you want too." _Rapped Naruto as he finished his freestyle against the last Uchia.

"Oh my God, Naruto you killed that ninja." Said Rock Lee as he as well as the whole leaf village clapped for Naruto.

"Damn it Naruto, I will beat you one of these days." Saskue said to Naruto as his curse mark resided.

"Saskue you will never beat me in a rap battle, your punch lines suck, your flow is garbage and that hicke on your neck that you got from Orochimaru doesn't help you anymore than how Chiaotzu helps the Z-Fighters, It does nothing Saskue." Said Naruto while he was signing auto graphs.

"Naruto you're too damn cocky. We all know Saskue can beat you in a rap battle." Said Sakura who was really pissing off everybody with her fan girl shit.

"Sakura what is the matter with you? Did you just not see I went 2pac on his ass?" Naruto screamed as he pulled some of his hair out.

"N-No you didn't. You just got lucky that's all." Stuttered Sakura as she backed away from Naruto.

Suddenly Hinata came out of nowhere and cussed Sakura out.

"Really Bitch you seriously pissing me the hell of. Saskue can't do anything right. He can't rap, fight or even tie his shoes. Look." Said Hinata as she pointed at Saskue who was failing miserably at tying his shoes.

"The bunny goes under… Damn it!!! Why do ninja's even need shoes?" Said Saskue as he stabbed his shoe with a kunai, forgetting that he still had it on.

"OH MY GOD! SOMBODY GET AN AMBULANCE! THE PAIN IS TOO HORRIBLE!!!!!" Screamed Saskue as he held his bleeding foot.

Fortunately-I mean unfortunately nobody cared about him and went back too listening to the argument with somebody saying "Foolish little brother."

"Look Hinata, Saskue can rap better and I can rap myself too." Sakura said as she put her hands on her hips.

"Oh please I can out rap u any day. I am the Mc Lyte of this village." Hinata said as everybody cheered.

"Oh yeah well I am the Little Kim of this village." Said Sakura as see put her hand in front of Hinata's face.

"Oh you mean you're a slut?" Hinata said as everybody laughed.

"That's it Hinata. Three days from now we will battle and we will see who the better rapper is." Sakura said as she lead Saskue too the hospital who had passed out from the pain.

"Wow Hinata. You can rap?" Asked Naruto as he looked at her with confusion in his eyes.

"Yes I can rap Naruto. Neji showed me some pointers and Gaara help me with my delivery." Said Hinata she blushed in front of her crush.

"Well then I might have too battle you one of these days." Grinned Naruto.

"Yeah. Oh I have to go home before my father kills me. Later Naruto-Kun." Said Hinata as she ran to the Hyuga compound.

"**Wow. Look at that ass giggle." **Said the Nine tails as he and Naruto were watching her leave.

"Damn it you perverted fox. Stop it." Said Naruto as walked home.

"**Your acting like you didn't enjoy watching that. Don't go fruity on me now." **Said the fox as he teased Naruto.

"Whatever. She is cute though." Naruto said.

"**Oh so you want a piece of that." **The fox asked.

"Well I-I-I." Stuttered Naruto.

"**If you do then why do you chase that flat ass thing you can Sakura? She is obviously in loved with that chicken ass haired Uchia." Said the Fox as he thrashed around in his cage.**

"Well-I don't know. I don't really like Sakura. That damn Masashi Kishimoto made me like this. Thank God for Garuto." Naruto said as he looked in the sky.

**Somewhere in the real world…**

The author of the story sneezed. "I guess somebody's talking about me." Said Garuto as he goes back to feeding his dogs.

**Back in the Leaf…**

"**Wait Kit. Turn around." Said Kyubi.**

As Naruto turned around he was happy with the sight. Hinata had stopped running and bent over to tie her shoes.

"Damn what an ass." Said Kyubi and Naruto as they both moved there heads to the side.

**Outside Kohona's Main Gate…**

"**Well Killer bee, we finally made it." Said Greg.**

"Yeah now nobody will say I suck after I Learn from the fox. Time to take this village by storm." Said Killer Bee as he leaps into the village. Determination in his eyes.

_Well that was the second chapter of the world's worst Rapper. I would like to thank my first two reviewers; Spaz-Kun and the Ultimate Sayain I hope too see more of you. I know Hinata's more straight forward but I like for he too be assertive. Anyway Later.__ Review please._


	3. Chapter 3

**The World's Worst Rapper**

**Disclaimer: Fuck you disclaimer. This is the last time I'm writing this disclaimer shit. I wouldn't be writing Fan Fiction if I owned Naruto would I?!**

The leaf was in an uproar. After Hinata declared that she could beat Sakura in rapping, everyone was placing bets. While they were surprised and impressed when Hinata stood up to the bitch of the village (**a/n: I wonder who that is?)** and expressed that she could rap, Very few betted on her. Probably due to the fact that being a bitch was a vital part in being a female rapper (**a/n: Or at least that is what it seems like to me.). **Anyway, Hinata was currently in a Hyuga meeting at the compound to discuss the up and coming rap battle.

"Hinata, This "rap" battle is a very important to the advancement of the clan. I want no screw ups this Friday. Also don't underestimate your opponent." Said Hiashi Hyuga, The father of Hinata.

Hinata looked at her father with pity. She wasn't even the main character in the story and this stereotype "Advancement of the clan bullshit" comes up. Next thing you know, Neji will come in the room with his fate crap about the match in 3…2…1...

"Hinata. It is fate that will determine your match with Sakura. Only the geniuses win." Neji said with a cold look that said "Say Something Bitch."

Hinata had enough of this shit. This fan fiction will not be like the others. She was always assertive in real life and never Stuttered every 2 seconds.

"Oh shut up! Both of you! Seriously, father this "advancement of the clan bullshit" has been going on as long as the OJ Simpson trials. Neji was it "fate" that lead you to getting your ass kicked by Naruto? I mean really, this is getting on my nerves. Plus knowing my luck, my bitch little sister who is like 8 years old is going to call me weak and try to kick my ass right now."

Not soon after Hanabi came but instead of just saying that Hinata was weak, she rapped it.

"Hinata why are you so weak? Dumb bitch you need to take a seat. I am stronger, my Byakugan is longer, and you look like a nasty radish farmer. You can't step up to the great, your even worst than Kakashi's when he is late, I will always win cause I just served you your lunch, Now back down before I give you a falcon punch."

Everyone was shocked in the room except Hinata who was pissed of that her sister took her style and completely turned it into what Cartoon Network is today: Shit.

She is going to show her why she is older and more powerful. This bitch was going down right here, right now.

"Hanabi sit Yo ass down before I give this medicine, I spit like your boyfriend in jail meaning I'm a veteran; I hate when little sluts like you try to steal my swag, I can get more guys than tag, But I am saving myself for the yellow haired ninja, Hanabi I'm gunning for your shit so surrender, stepping in the ring when I'm the number one contender, I know you like licking p***** in December, You think that I don't know you like girls, sit on a d*** on twirl, My style is why they cancelled My Name is Earl, I am Like Quagmire Giggidy Giggidy, Now you back down you Diggidy Diggidy?"

Hanabi was shocked and on the verge of tears. She couldn't believe how Hinata dissed her so hard and is trying to think of a reply but it just won't come to her. Hanabi hated to admit it but Hinata might just beat Sakura in the up and coming rap battle. She was not even close to Naruto yet but she just might get Tsunade in a battle.

"Wow Hinata. I am impressed, you lyrically just shitted on Hanabi." Said Hiashi.

Everyone was shocked that the clan head just used that type of language but was even more shocked to find that they agreed with him.

"Hinata, I got to say that you just might win against Sakura." Said Neji. He helped to develop her style but he didn't know that she could be so…hungry when she free styled.

"Hinata, I will never challenge you again. Damn I feel like shit." Said Hanabi. Her father heard her cuss twice and was giving her a lecture but nobody seemed to notice.

Hinata was proud of herself and proud of the fact that Suckura, will get dealt with hard for dissing her Naruto. Right now though, she had to practice because you never know if Suckura might pull a trick or two from up her sleeve.

Unknown to Hinata, Killer Bee was watching the whole match and he was pissed off. How is it that even this girl is better than him? He needs that teacher fast.

**Meanwhile at the training grounds…**

"Kakashi, do you think that Hinata can show of that youthful Bitchness that Sakura seems to have?" Said Gai who was trying to get him to rap against him but failing miserably.

Kakashi looked at Gai like he was stupid before going back to reading his porn.

"Youthful Bitchness? What the fuck is Youthful Bitchness? Seriously these Stereotypes are really pissing me off. There is no such thing called Youthful Bitchness. Do you have to say youth in every sentence?" Said Kakashi who palmed himself in the face.

"Do you have to read that un-youthful porn in broad daylight every day?" Gai Countered?

"Touché you ball snatching bastard."

"Kakashi if you don't quit disrespecting me, you will find a youthful d*** shoved up your ass."

"Of course, so your d*** is youthful now? Back the hell up before I give you some

Sharingan bitch."

"You want to take this out side?" Gai said, waving his fist in Kakashi's face.

"We are outside you ass."

"That's it, I'm tiered of your shit, now listen to the youthful words I'm about to spit, you're a second rate ninja fit for washing my dishes, I'll give you some youth and it isn't for the bitches, get lost you and your crew of snitches, of course I say youth in phrase, Keep messing with me and I'll leave you in a daze, you're a fag cause I see where you gaze, your looking at these nuts, you probably like to f*** buts, So f*** you and your Sharingan, Don't step up or I'll hit you harder than the Byakugan."

Kakashi looked at Gai with rage in his eyes. He dares to call him gay? It's going down now. Time to reveal the Sharingan.

"I gave you pass when you tried to take this class, why don't take some of my youth in your ass, I can spit harder than nails in a coffin, I'll be a chef and serve you these muffins, I can be a freak if I go 8 gates, I'll be like Barack Obama and debate, on whether I have the skill, To send away you to Brazil, on the real, can you feel?, The words that boil in a pot, I had sex with your girl and it was hot, I am like Lego's, While you can be eaten like eggo's, Cause Your girl likes to call me Big Poppa, I only smoke when the blunts rolled proppa, Now come with me, Hail Mary ninja run quick see, Where is your youth now, cause you want to ride or die?, La da da da da da da da… Get of the weed, before you try to f*** with me, Cause team seven's here now, Now you gotta die tonight, Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."

Gai didn't have a reply. How could he? Kakashi just ripped him and used to hip hop classic songs to do it. Gai just did what came naturally, He fainted.

"Well I did not see that coming. Oh well, that's what you get when you step up to the sharingan." Said Kakashi as he walked away.

**In Naruto's apartment…**

There was a knock on the door as Naruto was recording his mix tape.

"Alright if its Saskue, I didn't have sex with Sakura, yet." Naruto told his clone as he answered the door. He was surprised who he saw.

"Are you the nine-tailed fox?"

_**Well that was chapter 3 of The World's Worst Rapper. I hope you enjoyed those two rap battles. Anyway, those two underlined words are to tell you to look at those two hip hop songs to understand what Kakashi was saying deep in his freestyle. Big Poppa by Notorious B.I.G and Hail Mary by 2pac. Later.**_


End file.
